topi berfikir aku

did you guys watch the national geographic on tv3 yesterday? i couldn’t hold back my tears while i was watching the documentary about the war in liberia.

the boys on the Liberian-rebels side, despite being a soldier at 14years old and started killing at much younger age, still has hope to go back to school. some even doesn’t have a clue whether their parents are alive or not, or why they are handling weapons and in war. at 14 of age, one said, "i’m good at killing"

all that most malaysian’s teenagers ever worry on every single day are what to wear to lectures, what will i say when he/she calls, what will i have for lunch or dinner tonight, what’s on HBO, what am i gonna write on my blog in friendster tomorrow, what do i have to do to get promoted, which club i’m gonna spend my whole night dancing, where will i spend my semester breaks, how much do i need to save from my allowances for my ciggs every month, which gig am i going to go tonight and so on.

there is nothing wrong doing what we like doing. but we’re complacent, smug, ungrateful.

some of us has go the extra length and help all they can. help in any way, any how, in any situation. volunteering, obeying, understanding, offering. but some would just go through everyday life without a clue or just simply being ignorant.

there’s not much to ask. we don’t have to go to war, endure natural disaster every other seasons, undergo medicine or food shortages.

wake up before our life’s grand and pleasant offering is snatched away from under our feet. just be grateful, please. help and be wise. at home, college, work, wherever you are. a teeny weeny step today, towards the land of gratefulness is still a start nevertheless.

bila hati termenung, fikir menyahut.

rasa mau ikut hati.

fikir mau ikut tidak ikut.

nak pergi kejar lepas.

tapi gerak ikut fikir.

hati panggil lagi.

sedih keliru penat.

nanti saat hati dan fikir jumpa yang juga sama.

satu Esa, jalan, keseronokan

satu sekufu.

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they are brilliant manipulators. some may possess the great ability to psychologically recreate how human’s brain and other organs function. we kneel and yield to them. we beg and ponder and some may try to run. but they still swell our hearts up, drag us dead, darken our eyes and sight, slay us limp. some of us may gallantly survive every attack, the obstinate, the insensitive ones. others may be forever doomed. and some may hold up the drowning in the rapid stream but drift witless back into it.

sometimes we wonder how did they do it. i guess, the adept ones who gracefully or torturously sensed and savoured mortality and then themselves lay it in their critical creations are the ones who are able to make us flash white or yellow, weep, fly and aroused. emissaries presumably could bring the same effects too but obviously they are not the mastermind behind all the psychological changes.

i hate them. they play me, i willingly unconsciously obey.

but without them, i wouldn’t be.

so thank you for the music and lyrics. and the people who passionately make it happen.

lost my wisdom teeth to the dentist yesterday. and have been spitting blood since then. not while i’m sleeping under the influence of the painkiller drugs though, the blood flows into my stomach [i know because i don’t drool if i lie on my back] wonder what happened to them. the blood i mean.

mr. nanda is my dentist. such a gentleman, such a good adviser, such a great money-maker. well, to be able to have all the patients crawling back into his dentistry for his service is to be as polite as he can be, right? i would always remember his soft voice while examining my teeth, telling me the same thing at almost every visit, "remember to brush your teeth three times a day. after breakfast, lunch and before you go to sleep. always remember to also brush your tongue". it’s not like i didn’t brush my teeth before the check-up, but really, you can’t lie to an experienced dentist.

the minor surgery of extracting the teeth wasn’t that painful. the after effect is. firstly, he gave me several shots of anaesthetic, injected into my gums. a real ouch. then the numbing process begins. while he was attending other patients, one of the nurse was determined to make conversation with the anaesthetised me. maybe her intentions were good, to make me feel relax and comfortable. but i was busy and happily exploring my numb lips and mouth, with the mellowness of Light & Easy songs in the background. come on, it’s not like you get the numbed-feels-like-angelina jolie’s-lips everyday!

fully numbed, another nurse came by with the dentist. the talkative nurse held the thingamabob that sucked out my saliva, the other nurse held my head [much to the dismay of my neatly pleated tudung] to suppress the vigorous motion of the dentist pulling out my teeth. a little pain here. one out. and a few seconds later, out goes another one. no pain here. he said there’s no need to stitch up anything. great! the talkative nurse wiped up some blood that smudged my cheeks and then i was good to go.

gotta be back though, maybe next month, for another minor surgery to extract another two of my wisdom teeth. i do understand that i’m not less wiser in losing all of my wisdom teeth. mr. nanda said, it’s to give more space for the other teeth to grow healthily on my small jaw.

but i could never understand one thing though.

why does the vampires adore blood so much.